head, meet wall. wall, meet head

well then. I just did a little bit of futzing around with the website, fixed some display problem (that was making everything look huge) and added a links page. Not a whole lot of them yet, but links none the less. also, I fixed up the 404 page. it’s still not as funny as keebler’s though.

oy. I’ve been beating my head against the wall trying to organize this study circle and it’s not working as well as I would have liked. bleargh. yet another reminder of who’s the boss… the tests come and they don’t stop coming. it’s a part of life. and we’ve all been told again and again, we’re tested so that we become firmer, stronger, closer to God. yeah, I think I could stand doing that. I just have to learn to complain less and accept it as a positive part of life. yeehaw I love tests!

several people have told me over the past few years that I’m really very positive. I guess that’s really true. I’ve had a lot of wack stuff happen to me and I still haven’t given up. I know that there’s always a solution, that there’s always a reason. And it’s all in the hands of God. Now, when it happens in my own life, it can be more difficult to accept, but the same principles apply. I just aspire to the station where I automatically accept it radiantly instead of being moved to lament or complain. There were such people in history. if only, huh? We can always aspire.


I am powerless.

but man does it feel good.

bring me, O cup-bearer of the wine of the spirit, a cup as full as the sea.

organizational hazard

you can tell I need practice before I go into personnel management. I still have difficulty remembering to call people in to do stuff 😉 the phone is my friend!

gah, feeling a little daunted today. lots of challenges. starting the study circle and trying to get everything off to a good start… waiting to start work… managing little contracts here and there… and in the meantime there are spiritual challenges as our community learns to live together. actually yesterday we had a really good experience as a community at the nineteen-day feast. it was lots of fun. so there are fun parts and there are difficult parts I guess.

It all goes so much better when you just give up all the criticism and fault-finding. you know, those things that “quench the light of the heart and extinguish the life of the soul”. it just does no good to even point out to someone that they have a certain fault. they get defensive, offended, angry, they stop being receptive, and you get frustrated because they won’t listen to you, and then estrangement grows. and of course the worst of the worst is backbiting, which completely destroys unity and shakes the foundations of a community to its core.

yeah. when you think about the faults a person has, you also get discouraged because you think “oh noooo, there’s so much work to do!” but in fact, that’s not your work, your work is on yourself. let others work on their stuff and focus on perfecting yourself. there’s no time to worry about other people’s faults. try working with what you’re given instead. find the positive and bring it out, and see how it can contribute to the overall working of the group.

I think that’s been bothering me lately, without me knowing it. I was getting kind of frustrated with some people and I kept on thinking “if only this person would change” and so on. but let’s be real, I can’t do anything to make that other person change! so I better just mind my own development, and keep doing God’s work instead of worrying about the little things.