doberman pizza. a baha'i (bahai, bahá'í) blog.

Happy celebration of the Birth of Bahá’u'lláh! Right on time, the Baha’i International Community has launched a new website that serves as a pictorial history of the life of Bahá’u'lláh. you should see it, especially if you’re planning to go on pilgrimage soon.

it’s been just about a year since my family returned from our pilgrimage to the Baha’i World Centre in Haifa, Israel—in the midst of my now-busy life, looking back on the traces of that sacred journey brings back a lot of memories and a lot of longing.

Here’s a little Baha’i pilgrimage video I put together out of clips taken during my family’s pilgrimage to the Baha’i World Centre in Israel—specifically, to the old city of ‘Akká. There are many Muslim traditions (hadith) about ‘Akká, some of which are quoted by Bahá’u'lláh in His Epistle to the Son of the Wolf. This video is based on the tradition which states, “He that counteth forty waves [in 'Akká], while repeating: ‘God is Most Great!’—exalted be He—God will forgive his sins, both past and future.”

lors de mon pélérinage baha’i à Haïfa, en Israël, j’ai pu faire la rencontre d’une famille baha’ie super sympa et dotée de talents musicaux massifs et entièrement hors norme! La famille Martino vient du pays des Alpes et des noix de Grenoble, et nous avions tous eu la grande bonté de faire partie du même mini-groupe de pèlerins (le groupe francophone, bien sûr). C’était un groupe tout plein de chansons; les Martino nous ont appris tout un répertoire de belles chansons chorales baha’ies lors de nos visites aux lieux saints à Haïfa et à ‘Akka. Je me souviens très clairement des prières chantées vers le Point d’Adoration, le Tombeau de la Beauté Benie, Baha’u'llah—cette journée chaude et claire lors de notre deuxième visite à Bahji; de la soirée que nous avions passés ensembles sur les escaliers des terrasses autour du Sanctuaire du Bab, à chanter sous le clair de lune, contre la silhouette de ce Mausolée sacré, partageant notre héritage musical de tous les coins du monde.

C’est donc en me rappelant de ces moments sacrés que je reprends ces mélodies, puisque cette merveilleuse famille a pris le temps de rendre accessible ces chansons au monde entier à travers la Médiathèque Baha’ie: il s’agit de l’album “Une échelle pour vos âmes”. Ci-dessous vous y trouverez quelques exemplaires; je vous encourage à télécharger l’album au complet et commetre ces beaux airs à votre mémoire! Rendez visite aussi au blog de Silène en Inde (elle est à droite dans l’image, avec sa soeur Mélissa et moi-même).

Fais déborder mon coeur d’amour

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La Rose martyre

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walking slowly down dusty streets
his eyes are lost in thoughts that wash over
like forty waves and swallow him up

how blessed the dust of ‘Akka
how Blessed the Beauty whose feet trod upon it
he says with a tear;
his soul cries out in its separation

like a temple-flower
his prayer falls from his lips, and a wind stirs
and scatters the words he intones;
praise God who hearkens and is ready to answer

would that these stones could speak
and recount the tales of his Beloved;
would that he could hear the voices
of the Concourse on High, singing His praise

lost in thoughts of remembrance
he steps as though scaling those hallowed steps
he walks as though treading the rocky path that leads
to that Point of Adoration, that Holy of Holies

the flutter of a breeze sweeps away the dust
and scatters the flowers falling softly at his feet
and he listens for the voice of the Promised One

Waft, then, unto me, O my God and my Beloved, from the right hand of Thy mercy and Thy loving-kindness, the holy breaths of Thy favors, that they may draw me away from myself and from the world unto the courts of Thy nearness and Thy presence. (Bahá’u'lláh)

lost in a sea of subtle fragrance
and deep abounding joy i sigh

you ask me hello are you there you
need to concentrate what are you
thinking of

looking
longing
across the bay
like a magnet it draws me back

it feels like flying
like being there and curling into
a stance of prayer my forehead
touches the carpet and
as the faithful utter wordless devotions
i smell the scent of roses in the air
turning to face that sacred spot that
holy threshhold

drink deep from the cup of His presence
for in nine days you return to your previous life
to find that it can no longer be lived the same way

back at work on a grey day I hear chatter
while deep inside noiseless waves
crash and break upon my heart
and their silent roar echoes in my ears
and shakes this dusty shell that surrounds me

I turn aside and I sigh
and you look on wondering
if one day you look upon my Beloved
you might know why

Praise be unto Thee, O our God, that Thou hast sent down unto us that which draweth us nigh unto Thee, and supplieth us with every good thing sent down by Thee in Thy Books and Thy Scriptures. (Bahá’u'lláh)

It’s been over two months since we returned from pilgrimage. Life, as life does, has once again returned to a regular, somewhat insistent rhythm. I can’t rightly say that it’s “returned to normal” or that it’s achieved any sort of equilibrium; after all, has not the whole world’s equilibrium “been upset through the vibrating influence of this most great, this new World Order”?^[1]

Still, out of sight, out of mind, as the saying goes. I’ve been finding it harder and harder to nurture that conscious connection with God that seemed to come so naturally when I found myself kneeling in the Shrines. Some days are pretty good; I feel focused, conscious, resolute, and my prayers feel like loving conversations with God. Other days, I feel hazy, distracted, and weak, and my prayers feel just like words. On those days, I just find it difficult to pray because I feel so distracted by random worries—like the hosts of idle fancies and vain imaginings are launching an assault on my head.

I gather similar things happen to everyone; that’s why we always have to work at it. There’s no magic bullet to become more spiritual or to improve the quality and depth of your prayer, it seems. Instead, in His unerring wisdom as the Divine Physician for this age, Bahá’u'lláh has prescribed a number of spiritual habits for us to adopt to help our spirits grow and flourish. For those of us who worry so much that we find ourselves unable to pray, it would seem that the solution is to bite the bullet and pray anyway. In writing to a physician about health, Bahá’u'lláh said: “Verily, the most necessary thing is contentment under all circumstances; by this one is preserved from morbid conditions and lassitude. Yield not to grief and sorrow: they cause the greatest misery.”^[2] Letting go of one’s anxiety and being content with the will of God, as suggested in the famous prayer, will “refresh and gladden” one’s spirit.

O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life. O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá)

[1]: Bahá’u'lláh, Proclamation of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 118.
[2]: Bahá’u'lláh, quoted in Bahá’u’lláh and the New Era, p. 108.

My family’s pilgrimage to the Baha’i World Centre is over, but the journey of others has only just begun. Several friends and acquaintances—Sham, Sahba and Melody are among those leaving for pilgrimage this season; the Moradipours (you may know Tassnim, Basim or Salim) just returned from their pilgrimage last week, and their photos are already up on flickr—good time, considering mine weren’t up for an entire month.

Maruška from Slovenije, er, I mean Slovenia—took time away from writing her thesis to write up her pilgrimage experiences for everyone to read. Go check them out, it’s definitely worth the read. Maruška is one of the Baha’is who stayed with us at the well-recommended hostel, the Port Inn, in Haifa. She taught me that cmrlj means “bumblebee” in Slovenian. We have fond memories of the good times shared with our fellow “Port Inners”. We miss Rachel too :(

A few more friends we met on pilgrimage have made their presence known on the Internet. Seth from Georgia, Nina from NZ and Farideh from Saskatoon were all part of our 250-strong set of pilgrims. See Farideh’s photos, Nina’s photos and Seth’s photos on flickr. Juliette was part of our group—the French group—and has posted her photos to flickr as well.

A few folks have asked me questions about pilgrimage tips—what to do, what not to do, where to go, etc. Here are a few tips that might be helpful to those visiting the Baha’i World Centre in Haifa and ‘Akká:

• Spend as much time in the shrines as possible, and attend the evening talks. You’ll probably find that they help you understand the nature of pilgrimage and your role as a pilgrim.
• Make effort to say the long obligatory prayer as much as you can. Make a special effort to say it within the Shrine of Bahá’u'lláh at Bahji if you can.
• Use your time in the shrines to say the Tablets of Visitation. That’s what they were revealed for and you will find that they will really come alive when you say them in the Shrines.
• Crying is not mandatory, so don’t feel bad if you don’t.
• When visiting, try and stick with a group of six to ten people; that way, it’ll be easier for you to fill up a sherut (communal taxi). Travel by sherut as much as you can, whether within the city or outside; it’s the cheapest way to get around and is reasonably comfortable. Taxi drivers (driving normal-sized taxis) will stop whenever they see you to ask if you need a taxi; tell them that you’re waiting for a sherut. Taxis are ridiculously expensive, sheruts are not. Sheruts usually look like minibuses, and can hold ten people.
• Spend a day in the Old City of ‘Akká if you have the time. We did it and enjoyed it a lot. You should be able to get a map of a walking tour of ‘Akká that you can follow on your own; if you know someone who lives in Haifa who can show you around, that’s even better.
• Use the time spent visiting the Holy Places to call to mind the sufferings of Bahá’u'lláh and the Holy Family.
• Read the pamphlets you received from the Department of Pilgrimage; read them carefully and all the way through. They include a lot of really useful information that you will really be glad you knew.

That’s it for now. I’ve been pretty busy lately, but you should be able to look forward to a continuation of the “post-pilgrimage” series in the next few weeks, sharing more of my impressions of pilgrimage as they relate to my understanding of the Baha’i Writings.

all you patient people. look at you out there, I could just kiss you! it’s taken a whole month, but your patience has been rewarded. my pilgrimage photos—all 545 of them—are now online on my flickr photostream. go see them, leave notes and comments (free flickr or yahoo account required), and, most of all, relive the nine-day pilgrimage to the Baha’i World Centre through my trusty camera. Oh yes, and tell your friends. kthx. bye.

Praise be to Thee, O my God, that Thou hast aided me to remember Thee and to praise Thee, and hast made known unto me Him Who is the Dayspring of Thy signs… (Bahá’u'lláh)

When I visited the Bahá’í Shrine in Montreal this past summer—I was on my way to Moncton by train and stopped over at the Shrine moments before it closed—I had a singular experience. Believe it or not, it was my first experience in any sort of Bahá’í holy place; I didn’t know what to expect, and I didn’t know what to do. So I just sat by the window in the room of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, trying to close my one eye to “the world and all that is therein” and open the other eye to “the hallowed beauty of the Beloved”^[1], and wordlessly asked ‘Abdu’l-Bahá to help me pray. And oddly enough, as I opened one of the available prayer books and began to pray, I seemed to hear the voice of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá saying the words with me, helping me pray.

I admit that, as I first set foot into the Holy Shrines in Haifa and in Bahji, I expected the same sort of experience, and was quietly surprised (and disappointed) when it didn’t happen. If I had to try and describe what happened instead, I would say that it was as if I was gradually aided to understand just what the heck I was saying while praying. Through the loving guidance of, among others, Hand of the Cause Dr. Varqa and the members of the Universal House of Justice who spoke to us at the nightly talks in the Auditorium of the International Teaching Centre, I came to believe that one’s highest duty when visiting the Shrines is simply to offer praise and worship to those Blessed Figures who are the centres of our adoration. So I tried it. I entered the Shrine of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá and simply remembered and praised ‘Abdu’l-Bahá. I entered the Shrine of the Báb and remembered and praised Him. I entered the Shrine of Bahá’u'lláh and, powerless to do much else, I remembered His sacrifice and offered what little praise I could offer, asking for God’s grace in accepting it. And, well, I guess it worked.

Whenever I recite the long obligatory prayer now, I remember saying it in the Shrine of Bahá’u'lláh, two rooms over from the Qiblih—from the Point of Adoration towards which Bahá’ís offer their obligatory prayer every day.

[1]: Bahá’u'lláh, Persian Hidden Words, no. 12.

O My friends! Have ye forgotten that true and radiant morn, when in those hallowed and blessed surroundings ye were all gathered in My presence beneath the shade of the tree of life, which is planted in the all-glorious paradise? (Bahá’u'lláh)

The first big snow came a few days ago in Ottawa—though certain unlikely candidates had been snowed in far earlier. The first month of snow is always so beautiful to me; magical, wonderful. It evokes impressions from the earlier years of my life, bringing forth feelings of happiness and well-being, security, and anticipation of the month of celebration to come (my birthday is on the 7th, and well, there’s Christmas). For some reason, though, all those feelings seem to fall short compared to the feelings of serenity, happiness and well-being I felt strolling through the Ridván garden, visiting the houses once occupied by Bahá’u'lláh and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, and praying in the Holy Shrines. When I stop to reflect on my experiences over the past month or so, I am struck by the intensity of that experience, so much so that every other joy seems to be nothing but a trifle in comparison. Depending on how you look at it, that could be a source of dismay or—as I see it—a source of joy, certitude, and hope.

“Remember My days during thy days,” says Bahá’u'lláh, “and My distress and banishment in this remote prison.” These words are companions to me now, standing as reminders of Bahá’u'lláh’s life, filled with sorrow and tribulation, the evidences of which I saw with my very own eyes while walking through the streets of ‘Akká, while climbing the steps of that Most Great Prison, where Bahá’u'lláh lived for two years, and where His youngest son gave his own life. I focus on these thoughts now whenever I feel weak or confused, or when I feel I’m losing that vital connection to the Divine Spirit that keeps us all going deep down inside. Calling to mind Bahá’u'lláh’s life reminds me that He “consented to be bound with chains that mankind may be released from its bondage,” and that He “accepted to be made a prisoner within this most mighty Stronghold that the whole world may attain unto true liberty.”

Remembering our spiritual life is hard sometimes, especially when we’re not used to it. The more we do, though, the more free we feel from the ups and downs of life. Some people go to church, or whatever spiritual gathering applies. Some people get out into nature or putter around in a garden. Some people burn incense or chant and sing. Some people pray and meditate. And some people do all of the above (at least once in a while). I’ve blogged before about the useful spiritual habits that Bahá’ís rely on for spiritual growth; Hand of the Cause Mr. H. Collis Featherstone describes prayers and similar spiritual habits as the only thing we can bring with us into the next world (hence the importance of memorizing prayers). Even so, I still continuously struggle, day by day, to remember these basic building blocks of spiritual life. I know that the more I struggle and the more effort I expend, the more I learn—and the closer I grow towards God.

This post is dedicated to Mees, in the hopes that he’ll remember to answer my email!

“All praise be to the sanctified Lord Who hath illumined the world through the splendours of the Daystar of His grace.”

Bahá’u'lláh, Tabernacle of Unity, p.57

O Son of Being! Thy heart is My home; sanctify it for My descent. Thy spirit is My place of revelation; cleanse it for My manifestation. (Bahá’u'lláh)

Feeling better now, and getting back into the swing of things. I’ve got less laundry lying around, the jetlag has mostly faded, and work is getting back on track. Keeping alive the conscious contact with God is a challenge when there are so many things around to steal away your energy—the effect of messy, disorganized environment has begun to dawn on me quite clearly. So, ok, doing laundry is one step, but managing my time is another thing that saps a lot of my energy right now. I haven’t yet found one reliable way to manage my time that allows me to efficiently and consistently juggle all the different things going on in my life. Which reminds me: another step I would like to take is to rewrite the set of rules by which I carry new ideas to action. In the past, my pattern has been to impulsively jump on new projects that look interesting (shiny objects, anyone?) I’d like to adopt a new pattern, in which I run all these new ideas through a set of reality checks to weed out the projects that will obviously never get done. Hopefully, something like this would help me maintain focus on those important things that are most necessary in day-to-day life and those that are (hopefully) most aligned with the Will of God.

There’s been more prayer and meditation in my life lately, and my mood has improved, which is good. I feel like I’ve learned how to pray through being so close to the Holy Shrines and asking for help at the Sacred Thresholds. Attaining to the Presence of the Báb, Bahá’u'lláh, and ‘Abdul-Bahá was such a powerful experience—I feel like it’s left its mark on my soul, or at least I fervently hope it has. I hope that by the grace of God, I may be enabled to continue turning my will over to His day by day, one day at a time.

The grace of God is something I want to share about with you all—but that’ll have to wait for another night. Stay tuned and keep checking out the new pilgrimage photos on flickr. Also check out Maruška’s livejournal for another view of our pilgrimage from a fellow “Port Inner“.

Thy love, O my Lord, hath enriched me, and separation from Thee hath destroyed me, and remoteness from Thee hath consumed me. (Bahá’u'lláh)

sadness came over me today as I realized that I was no longer in Haifa, and that pilgrimage was over. perhaps it was while posting my 100th pilgrimage photo to flickr, reliving the enriching thrill of nearness to the Holy Shrines, and fondly remembering all the new friends I made amongst my fellow pilgrims. since returning, I haven’t been following my daily programme of prayer, readings, and meditation as closely as I’d like. Maybe getting back on track with these will help soften the impact and help put me back into conscious contact with my Higher Power.

Catherine graciously typed out all the email addresses of people we met while on pilgrimage, so we can get back in touch with them, share photos, and so on. there’s a lot of getting in touch to do and I’m looking forward to that.

Yesterday morning, I dreamt that I was writing an exam at school – except that I didn’t recognize or understand most of the questions. For the ones I did understand, I didn’t have the tools I needed – for example, a ruler to measure lines, a calculator, etc. I remember feeling scared and anxious.

we’re back from pilgrimage.

There’s no way I could possibly share with you the full range of emotions we experienced, nor the depth and intensity of the spiritual forces that overtook us at every moment. There’s no way to share with you the transformation we’ve undergone in our outlook and our understanding. Every atom of my body wants to sing out in praise and I feel like my soul is blazing out with oceans of light.

In the weeks to come, I will try to share with you glimpses of our experience as guests of Bahá’u'lláh in the Holy Land, but be warned that my tongue and my pen will necessarily fall short of conveying the full grandeur, glory and beauty of the experience.

hi everybody – greetings from Tel Aviv. It’s currently 7:47 PM. Mom, Catherine and I arrived in Israel this morning at about 4 AM local time. Left from Montreal on the night of the 27th, arriving at Heathrow Airport in London at around 9 AM local time. We visited the Guardian’s resting place and said prayers, and spent a little time in London (visited Piccadilly Circus) before taking the underground back to Heathrow in time for our connection to Tel Aviv. The weather here is OK; it’s overcast and mild. We’ve hardly had any sleep since leaving from Montreal, so we booked a room for the day in a hotel here and just slept straight through. We just had dinner (mexican food… ?!??) and are about to depart for the bus station to catch a ride to Haifa, where our reservation awaits and the pilgrimage program begins tomorrow morning.

We can’t wait to get there, to meet our fellow pilgrims, and to begin the experience of pilgrimage to the Baha’i Shrines and holy places. It is really exciting to be here. We will keep you all in our prayers – no, really, we have lists – and hope that God will accept our devotions and shower confirmations on all your (and our) efforts to love and serve humanity.

Update: Nov 8 2006 – hey everybody. it’s 10 AM Israel time, and we’re getting ready to leave our cozy little hostel in Haifa, the Port Inn. At 11 AM, our bus leaves for Tel Aviv; our flight to London leaves at 4:45 PM. Pilgrimage has been very moving and beautiful – very hard to describe. All of us have been praying in the shrines a great deal, and have been remembering our friends, co-workers, and family – along with those who asked us for prayers for their loved ones, as well as the Baha’is of Iran (read the recent story from the Baha’i World News Service). We’ve met a lot of wonderful Baha’is from all around the world and received a lot of inspiration. I’ve got about 2 gigs of photos to post up; I’ll be adding a whack of them to my flickr site as soon as I can. I also plan to put together a more complete photojournal to tell the story of our pilgrimage to the Baha’i Holy Places. There are so many stories to tell.

Anyway I will be back in action (but jet-lagged) this Friday, the 10th.

I can scarcely believe it, but it’ll be only three days until I’m on my way to Haifa with my mother and sister for Baha’i pilgrimage. It’s a strange, almost unearthly feeling, like I’m half expecting to wake up at any moment from a wonderful dream. I’m really excited – I feel kinda like a little kid who’s going on the biggest adventure of his life. I know in cases like these I have to watch myself lest I get so distracted that I forget to take care of important last-minute arrangements (like filling out the online security precheck so I can get through the airports more quickly). My passport arrived this past Friday; plenty of time to spare. Last night, I read through all the pamphlets sent out by the Office of Pilgrimage to make sure I was familiar with all their guidance on travel; I’ve never travelled abroad, so this is really the new experience of all new experiences for me. I still haven’t packed, despite my sister’s loving reminders. I’m still wondering whether I’m really spiritually prepared for the journey, and going through my mental list of all the people I intend to pray for while I’m there. I have to make sure to persevere in reciting my daily obligatory prayers and reading and striving to understand the Writings of Baha’u'llah every morning and evening – a habit our tutor movement group worked together to establish during this past month.

That’s it for now. I’ll post one last time before we leave on Friday; I may opt to remain in communicado during the time of pilgrimage, or I may opt to make a quick post at some point during the trip to show signs of life. We’ll see how things go.

It’s autumn again. I went out for a walk this afternoon to gather kindling, and took some photos along the way. Check ‘em out on flickr. It’s still early in the season, and there are quite a few green leaves left, but as the weather gets colder, more and more of them will be reddening, drying up and making their final downward journey, ending up in a pile at the back of the parking lot. Autumn is definitely my favourite season. Maybe it’s the massive flourish of colour that overtakes the city – the country, even – within a few weeks. Maybe it’s the sudden snap of cold air that makes me want to curl up in front of a fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate. Last year, I blogged:

Autumn gives me a feeling of gratitude for the things I have that keep me warm and dry, the friends who bless me with the gift of their presence, and the joy of closeness to the ones I love.

Speaking of warmth, joy, and closeness—and above all, gratitude—it’s Thanksgiving weekend in Canada. We celebrate it in October up here because it’s too cold in November (maybe that’s not the real reason). My family’s having a little dinner tomorrow (Sunday) night, with promise of good food and sharing some good times. some of the conversation will probably have to do with pilgrimage; my mom, sister and I will be going to Haifa in about two and a half weeks. I can still barely believe that this is IT, we’re actually going on pilgrimage, we’re actually going to be right there at the Baha’i Holy Places, walking, talking, breathing where Baha’u'llah was just a little over a century ago.

I mentioned spiritual preparation the last time I blogged about our upcoming pilgrimage, and I left the definition rather vague. Recently, I was invited to be part of a group that offers a unique sort of spiritual preparation—based on the courses of the Ruhi Institute…what else? What a blessing! Some of us were describing it as a “Baha’i Support Group”: we meet weekly to share our trials and pitfalls in teaching, and communicate by email and phone regularly during the week to 1) share insights about a set of readings from the Hidden Words that we’re all doing in parallel, and 2) share elements of our daily and weekly plans and encourage each other to take action on them.

The focus on action and support has been encouraging; we’ll focus on a small set of actions each week, mostly based on practice components of the Ruhi books. For example: reading and understanding the Hidden Words, or studying a prayer with someone. The goal is to make habits out of these actions: the more comfortable we are reading and understanding the Baha’i Writings, the easier it is for us to remember to turn to them at all times. The more comfortable we are visiting people to study prayers with them, the easier it is for us to get up and pay someone a visit at their home when they need our fellowship, and to share prayers and Writings with them that can provide the solace, comfort, and inspiration they may need. We’re creating life habits—that’s what you call a culture of learning. And once we’ve experienced the process of creating these habits, we can help others create those same habits in study circles.

More later; for now, roam around on flickr and enjoy the sights. I posted a bunch of photos from Ilya’s going-away party on the 10th of September; see how many people you recognize! And OMG how could I forget this link: Ilya is blogging his day-to-day experience in Haifa, so if you’re wondering what he’s up to, you should definitely visit his blog.

Today is (or was) Sunday, the 24th of September, 2006. Just a month plus a couple of days until Ottawa’s Baha’i community begins a new cycle of its program of growth; the same amount of time will pass before I leave for pilgrimage to the Baha’i World Centre in Haifa. Both of these are preoccupying me at the moment. Before I leave for pilgrimage, I need to get quite a whack of documentation done up: renew my health card, renew my driver’s license (which will entail taking my G-level exam), get passport photos taken and signed by garantors, to name a few. I need to read up on safe travel guidelines for pilgrims coming to the World Centre, so that I’m not taken by surprise during my visit. Oh yeah: most people are surprised when I tell them that I’ve never been on an airplane. Never meaning “once, when I was one and a half years old and I don’t remember a thing about it”. So that’ll be an interesting experience. And beyond all the material preparations, there are the spiritual preparations for pilgrimage. I’m not sure that I’m fully ready to sit and pray in the Shrines and be able to take it all in. I’m afraid I’ll just be so overwhelmed, or worse, be left unaware of the full magnitude of the experience. I suppose everybody goes through that sort of self-questioning… like ‘Abdu’l-Baha said, when in doubt, pray for strength. It will be given to you, no matter how difficult the circumstances. More about this later.

And then there’s life in Ottawa, and my service goals for the year. I just came back from a tutor meeting tonight (Sunday night—had to skip choir :( ). We went over the latest guidance from the Universal House of Justice, looking at it from the perspective of our roles as tutors.

Note: In this case, for those who may not know, “tutor” is just shorthand for someone who facilitates the sequence of courses offered by the Ruhi Institute, a community development program that focuses on the development of skills of service through the application of spiritual insights that are gained through profound study of the Baha’i Writings. Anyone who has completed said sequence of courses can act as a tutor; most commonly, we say that such a person “acts as a tutor” rather than bestowing a title of “Tutor” upon them. —dj

Much of our discussion focused on how we could be more effective in our service as tutors; for example, focusing on implementing the practice component of institute courses—which transforms the course from a mere academic exercise to a skill-building experience. Lots of food for thought. It should help me a lot in planning how I want to serve in the near future. So far, I plan to put a sizable chunk of my effort into our neighbourhood francophone children’s class. That’s going well so far; I already have an outline of the curriculum done up for the entire school year, up to August, all based on the modified Furutan curriculum provided by the Canadian Spiritual Assembly. That’s mental! And it’s already way past what we were able to do last year. I really feel like I’ve gained a lot of confidence and know-how from the past year’s experience of co-teaching this class—and that makes me feel quite optimistic about the challenge of the new year ahead.

One last note, relating to my own personal development: Certain things have been happening lately that have made me look back at the past few years of my life. Right now, I see how far my life has come in the past ten years and I’m almost brought to tears, tears of joy and of gratitude. Fact is, I barely recognize myself now. I feel like my life has done a complete volte-face, or about-face. When I was 16, I never would have thought that one day I would be confidently teaching children’s classes, establishing a successful career doing something I really enjoy, developing healthy, nourishing friendships and relationships with people I love and care about. Whereas I was quietly depressed as a teenager, now I feel like bursting with joy at the prospect of really living a rich and fulfilling life. There’s so much to tell about this that I don’t have the time to share right now, but God willing, I’ll be able to share some of these things with you. Have a good day at work or at school and keep the comments (and emails) coming.

Photo: Maurice & Marcelle Turgeon.