OK OK ok so I owe explanations to lots of people.
I was up late last night leaving mysterious notes saying that I had had “very good news” that night and that there were more clues on Facebook. Those who were Facebook-enabled saw this:
A stream of bemused congratulations trickled in throughout the morning and afternoon from unsuspecting friends—most of whom had no idea I was even in a relationship. As I spoke with them, of course, the truth was gradually revealed. For some, it was the name of my would-be fiancée (“April Foules”) that gave the joke away. Other conversations lasted longer, going into wedding details (wedding in Kenora next week, anyone?) and into varying levels of cruelty. One friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, earned my lifelong respect (and a place in my real wedding) for being ready to drop all of his (or her) exams and show up with a gigantic pink elephant in order to speak at the wedding.
So, to be exceedingly clear: I am not engaged, and if you think I am, then you got punk’d. April Fools!
I just hope nobody pwns me for sizdah-bedar.