I remember taking a personal moral growth class in high school, which included a unit on love and infatuation and the difference between the two. But I don’t think it was nearly as good as this. This was a handout given at the Harper Mountain Baha’i Workshop in the summer of ’01.
Infatuation or Love?
Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would as soon not examine closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you, to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence, even when he/she is away. Miles do not seperate you. You want him nearer. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says, “We must get married right away. I can’t risk losing him.”
Love says, “Be patient. Don’t panic. Plan your future with confidence.”
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another’s company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy.
Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he’s away, you wonder if he’s cheating. Sometimes you check
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels that trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you’ll regret later, but love never does.
Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.