I was just reading from lindsay’s diaryland posts right now and the following caught my eye and made me think: “I return to my previous viewpoint that boys are trouble. Even if you think ‘this one is different,’ he never is… trouble trouble trouble.”
It’s true, in a way, but I wonder why. each one of us, boy or girl, is endowed with the capacity to be so much more. but still, boy chases girl and girl chases boy (or whoever chases whatever else), and the chase wears us down. why the chase? why the pursuit and pageantry, proud like peacocks to have someone think we’re all that? why do we need someone else to tell us that?
boys are trouble because they’re taught to be trouble. we look at the animal world with their mating rituals and say, “this is how everyone else does it; why not us?” and we prey upon one another, trying to find a ‘true love’ to call our own, a mate, an other half to complete us, to fill the void we perceive within ourselves. our courtship practices are based on power struggles and they don’t have to be. we don’t have to act like animals. before our feet is the challenge to transcend this buffoonery and to discover within ourselves something that really works.
we’re trouble because we’re buying into a sham — a model of courtship that does not respond to the true needs of humanity. what we need is to let go of the hidden agenda. what we need is to see friendship at face value, not as a foot in the door to something deeper. we need to be treated, and treat others, with honesty, with equality, and with justice. these are not pipe dreams; they are very much within our capacity. sure, our hormones may get to us sometimes. we simply need to approach each other chastely so we can keep level heads. and if you’re about to say that it’s too hard to even try, believe me, I of all people know how hard it is, and I definitely know, from experience, that it’s worth it.
we can’t have everything for free, but at least we know that if we truly work at it, we can stop being so much trouble to each other.
time for bed. boy, what a long post. 🙂